Just look at that glorious cover. You can practically feel the 80s hair metal oozing off the page, can’t you?

In the most unexpected of returns, Cold Slither (a band formed by Zartan and his Dreadnoks in the GI Joe animated show, in order to take over the world using subliminal messaging) have been granted their own one-shot comic book. Is it connected to the Energon Universe, readers are asking? Does it matter, when it rocks this much?

Just for the record, I consulted my Magic 8-Ball on this. The answer to the Energon Universe continuity question was: “Don’t count on it”, so I checked again just to be sure, and it told me that it was “Very doubtful”. Thanks, Magic 8-Ball!

Cold Slither #1 takes readers into a Spinal Tap-esque, where-are-they-now documentary, with Cobra having succeeded in taking over the world, thanks to how easily Cold Slither’s debut single, also called Cold Slither, was able to go viral and spread it’s subliminal messaging in the streaming age. The band had long since split up, and the host of the TV show, 20 Questions, hunts them all down to see if they’ll reform for one last gig.

It’s such a fun comic, and every single batshit crazy plot point goes to 11. The recap of the original cartoon’s events is hilarious in all of its silly details, and yet there’s also something to be said for the pathos of these aging bikers, musicians and general ne’er-do-wells in terms of where they’ve ended up.

Timed to coincide with the 40th anniversary of the Cold Slither episode of GI Joe, this is a wonderful tribute and return for Zartan and the Dreadnoks Cold Slither, and the comic even ends with an ad for the ‘real’ Cold Slither; a supergroup of dudes from actual bands who’ve made an entire album as Cold Slither. Life imitating, well, if not art, exactly, it’s certainly entertaining. Long live Cold Slither!

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