Out now on Switch – Price £7.19/$7.99

Though initially looking like a way of cashing in on the nostalgia for Theme Hospital – not to mention the interest in the imminent arrival of Theme Hospital’s spiritual successor, Two Point Hospital, on the Switch – Help Me Doctor! isn’t a cartoony, medical profession-based strategy game.

Instead, it’s a game in which you’re given details of various silly diseases with even sillier symptoms – you’re tasked with correctly diagnosing patients, as well as checking that their documents are in order. Random events can occur, such as visits from a Ministry of Health inspector, that are liable to throw further spanners in the works. Incorrectly diagnose patients or fail to spot a dodgy signature and you’ll be fined.

It’s a bit like a medically-themed – rather than border control-focused – Papers, Please. It’s a bit wonky though; there’s so much repetition in the supposedly humourous symptoms and the jokes all fall pretty flat, to be honest – there’s a big reliance on fart jokes, but I also noticed a hint of misogyny in at least one of the medical problems that cropped up, which took me aback a bit. So it veers awkwardly between very childish reliance on flatulence and this attempt to be edgy – neither of which is funny. It doesn’t help that the English translation is pretty poor too; I’ve spotted a number of awkwardly translated or badly spelled words and phrases in my time playing the game.

Visually it has a very dated look too; there’s no charm to the character design or screen layout here, but it’s functional for the most part – when you know what you’re doing. It’s frustrating, however, that there’s not much of a tutorial to speak of; you’re just expected to know what to do, but the game doesn’t make it obvious at first. There’s a lot of trial and error involved when working out how not to get fined, which is very frustrating indeed.

Ultimately, it’s an admirable attempt to make a unique title, but it feels half finished; the lack of any meaningful explanation of the game’s mechanics is a glaring oversight. Consequently – and sadly – Help Me Doctor! is not a game I’d recommend purchasing. Unless it gets some sort of major overhaul (which is unlikely), this is one doctor I’d suggest staying away from.

Enjoyed what you’ve read? Want to support my blog? There’s no pressure of course, but every penny helps to keep this site running, as I earn no income from my writing here. If you did want to support the site and my writing, you can do so at either of these links: Ko-Fi.com/geekmid or PayPal. Any donations are truly appreciated, but so is the fact that you took the time to read my articles. Thank you so much!

Help support me here!

All donations are gratefully received and will help me keep the lights on here – as well as help to keep my writing dream alive! Please be aware though: there’s no pressure. I just hope you’ve enjoyed reading my article!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s